Thursday, September 30, 2010

an ode to downtown los angeles

Bukowski sprawled in your duck pond park, drunk on drink and prose and watery duck pond air, John Fante, too & me, as well.

The pond has since become a spout; a launching pad; Pershing Missile Square.

It wasn’t until many years later that I overheard a man at the bus stop say,” that used to be the most dangerous plot in Los Angeles”

The pond had since huddled over, coddling docile homeless and middle-management Armenian types.

Oh, Los Angeles, your Temple is a street & your Spring has long sprung ever-changing, a metamorphic municipality bodega to parking lot warehouse to loft. Even your wholesale fashion for the poor vacates for I.T. guys and painters and middle-management Armenian types, & me as well. Gentrification they say, but phantom Bukowski & Fante’s apparition know there is something far more sinister at hand & me as well.

A black lady pulls over and flags me down. She has real human hair and finger nails with the length & curvature of the journey itself, “Can you tell me where I will find the courthouse?” “Four more blocks & you’ll see it on your left." I have no idea if this is true.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Bored, underage and HORNY in South Central

I have a knack for finding personal things that have been lost by their owners. If you look, the streets are paved with handwritten notes and personal effects. Somehow, on their individual journeys, these items became discarded either accidently or purposefully, and intercepted by me.

I used to be a waiter in a sports bar. This job was the best for my hobby of collecting articles that were never meant for my eyes. I would very often find portraits; patrons had sketched on napkins, of their friends sitting across from them in the restaurant booth. Another common find would be paper napkins with designs or schematics penned on. The vagueness of their purpose intrigued me, what were these rednecks building??
I would also sometimes find these same napkins scrawled with the silent cries of customers finding their own private hell right there in Casey Jones Bar & Grill. The notes would read something like, “I’m sitting here in so much pain and you’re not even noticing”…blah, blah, blah. I could generally tell by the way they crossed their Ts if I was dealing with a real live psycho or a drama queen with a Dr. Pepper addiction.

I live in LA now and I find a different quality of items now. Bigger, scarier, sexier.

Today’s story is of a note I found outside of South High in South Gate, California. It’s the story of a young boy who went big in an attempt to get sexy and in the process scared us all.

Written in the classic “back n’ forth” style of in-class note passing, the letter exhibits (I think you’ll agree) handwriting that’s very definitely that of a boy and separate handwriting that’s uniquely feminine. I will transcribe the note now; as well I shall include a scanned copy so that you may be that much closer to majesty that is this pubescent dialogue

BOY: So how was it?? You like it??
GIRL: It was alright, I guess!
BOY: Ha Ha Ha OK well today
GIRL: But today it’s my turn!
BOY: How aboiut we both just do it at the same time I’ll finger you and you jack me off??? Or ask to the restroom and I’ll go a little later yeah??

GIRL: So u did like it! LOL!
BOY: Afterschool! Yeah!!and OK how about we just fuck???
GIRL: IDK cuz my friend likes me and ‘ll probably get with him & yah I’ll fuck with him better!
BOY: Dam well we’ll fuck first then you can get with him and dam that’s dirty ☹
GIRL: Why is it dirty?
BOY: Cuz Ive been doing stuff with you!! So lets fuck today or what???
GIRL: Cuz we’ve been doing stuff? That doesn’t make it dirty
BOY: It makes it dirty cuz your just going to fuck with him LOL so do you wanna fuck?
GIRL: Nah I’m just playing I’m not going to fuck with him but I will probably get with him so it will probably come to an end! Ha Ha LOL!
BOY: Well then lets fuck so it could come to an end like that at least yeah
GIRL: IDK cuxz he aint saying shit so yah! But, but I’m a virgin! Ha ha LOL!!
BOY: Oh OK then and yup its ok ☺
GIRL: Whats Okay?
BOY: That you’re a virgin!!

GIRL: oohh!
BOY: so yeah??
GIRL: so yeah what?
BOY: If you wanna fuck??
GIRL: sure! But IDK, when?
BOY: Today!!!
GIRL: NO not today!
BOY: why not today??
GIRL: cuz I cant!
BOY: why?? We wont take long!!!
GIRL: NAH! Maybe next time & do you have a condom?
BOY: OK and ha and I dont why??
GIRL: Cuz we need one!
BOY: ha not even I feel when sperm comes out I can just pull it out!!!
GIRL: sure, wat if an accident happens I don’t want to be preggo!
BOY: you nwont!!!
GIRL: U never know!